Jikan ga nai (時間がない、no time)

What an unimaginable first three days. Day One: touched base with two of my classmates, went to Top World supermarket, bought strange- and not-so-strange-looking food, shopped for clothes with a guy whose bags didn't make it (Kyle) and a few other people (Evan, Sabrina, Katie), slept in an 8-tatami-mat room with two other girls (Katie, Myriah).

Day two: Realized I left my food in the wrong kitchen (locked of course) and had to go around the outside, decided to NOT go back the way I came to get to MY seminar house, got super lost in some random neighborhood in the area, ended up getting walked back by a Peruvian woman who had lived in Japan for the last 20 years who LENT ME HER BIKE which I ended up parking in a random bike lot only to be told in the safety meeting that practically EVERYTHING I did was illegal...

[breathing now]

...and basically stressed out about allll the paperwork I had to get done.

Day three: Found the east gate (short route) and a new potential friend (Trevor), drank coffee and talked for like two hours with my friend Kyle, had zaro or zabo udon or something for lunch with my speaking partner Seiji, signed up for a bank account, found out who my host family is (with a 13-year-old girl) registered my computer with the university/national whatever with the help of a very nice tech guy, and ate a real meal at a local restaurant by MYSELF.

And y'know, there's a lot more I could tell you...but right now I'll just say that I was pretty much on the verge of tears yesterday, and now I think I'll survive. It's pretty awesome. More to come! (Like Kyoto and laundry and shopping...next post will be mostly pictures.)

Humbled, Naturally.

I have to laugh at myself, because just after I am most anxious and start to calm down, thinking I've got things as "figured out" as they're going to get, God enters in and says 'HEY. I love you. Here's how and why. Remember me.' For those of you who knew me and my faith life before I went to Rwanda, you probably heard me say how "crazy" it was that I kept hearing and seeing Proverbs 3:5-6 everywhere I went leading up to the trip. You'd know that, despite the verses' general "fame", it meant something particularly special to me and stuck in my mind. So, naturally, God decided to bring it to my attention in church this morning, right before I leave on this big grand adventure, and after I had convinced myself that a phone call from my boyfriend in the middle of the night was sufficient to carry me through the next few months (although I am very thankful for him and the conversation). After we'd just finished singing "Overcome" ("by the blood of the lamb / and the word of our testimony / everyone, overcome") and "Victor's Crown" ("You wear the victor's crown / you overcome, you overcome), the pastor reads,

Trust in the Lord your God
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your path straight.

God is good. That's all I'm gonna say. Here we go.

Running on...?

Am I running on the Holy Spirit, or am I running on something else? Am I running on my last legs, or am I running on empty? Or am I simply running on--enduring? Whatever the case may be, I find that I'm having a lot of ups and downs lately. Maybe it's just that time of the month (I don't mind admitting it), but the fact of the matter is that life is changing. I am changing. And I probably will be for the rest of my life, in mind, body, spirit, soul, the whole shebang. Sometimes that's hard to stomach, but...well, we deal with it. I'm sure a lot of the time, our problem is just one of surrendering to God. Over and over, we get wrapped up in the world of "me" and forget that our anger and selfishness and everything else that eats us up inside is of our own making, not God's. At least I do. That's what I think.

This reminds me of what I probably said earlier in this blog (definitely in the Rwanda one) about expectations--you pretty much have to get rid of them when going to a new place, maybe even meeting new people and in other aspects of life. At least that's been my experience. And I forgot to mention in my last post that in the sermon I last heard, the pastor mentioned the opening line of Great Expectations (a book I've referenced before without having read it, and I probably never will because it's by Charles Dickens): "It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times." I can't remember now exactly how it was related to the Biblical message on Sunday, but I think that's probably a very true statement for a lot of things in life; a lot of people say the good comes with the bad (and vice versa), and what if our greatest, happiest, and most inspirational moments come in the thick of our worst times? If you've read my Rwanda blog, specifically the entry entitled "Bieber Mango Caring", maybe you'll agree that this "theory" is quite probable.

In any case, with my last day of work just hours ahead of me (yeah, it's not even a day, it's 5 hours...woohoo!), I'm feeling...good? Prepared? I don't know. I've been studying my kanji flashcards more diligently now that my dad is helping me, and I've got about 300 down pretty well. Two more boxes to go. I've packed 99% of my clothes, I believe, and I've made the packing list. I'm doing laundry today, getting a haircut tomorrow, learning how to cook on Saturday. Needless to say, we're down to the wire here. Three more days until I make my way to the airport. So if you are so inclined, please pray. Pray for whatever you think/feel I might need prayer for. I'm leaving it up to you, dear readers, to do as you see fit. Maybe you just want to wish me luck. Maybe you skimmed this, nodded, shook your head, made a thoughtful "hmm" sound in your head (or out loud), and that's your level of participation in this journey of mine. That's totally fine. I love it! And I hope that all of us can get something out of what I write here.

Until next time,
ケイトリン

And so it begins.

Call it pre-mature, packing a week ahead of time, but I knew today was the day. Having the house to myself for a long morning before work will do that, I guess.

I've done a little more research, so I've got my ride from the airport and my means of communication pretty much squared away, and I just discovered that the university is like a 2 hour ride from the airport. So that's good to know. Still not sure what the money situation is, but we'll figure it out eventually.

I suppose I don't have a whole lot to say at this point--short-timing it at work (four more days, including today, YES), vacillating between mostly calm and mostly panicky, not running much, wish I was eating better...but I found that going to church yesterday and being in the Word more in the last two days than I have for most of the summer has been at least somewhat therapeutic for me, whether or not any of it is sinking in. But I think it is :)

So I'll leave you to your daily duties for now, and I'll be in touch again soon, when the journey REALLY begins (less than 7 days).

Peace.

The Disclaimer

I don't mean to repeat myself, but I want to elaborate on my first post for the sake of clarity and detail (also I was in a rush the other day, so, this should tell you more about where I'm at right now).

Something I've realized about blogging, for me, is that it has to encompass everything. I debated referencing scripture in the title of this blog because I created it with the intent of documenting my experience in Japan (primarily), but "Rising Sun Ruminations" was too long and "The Rumination Room" was too vague (although I still think it's a pretty good title for a blog) and then I remembered my last blog was called Operation R...

So enough with the r's. Enough with the expectations. I'm not going to limit myself, because I'm not that kind of person. My relationship with God is a huge—the biggest, you could say—part of my life. But I'm a writer and a thinker and a lover and a daughter and a sister, and hopefully a world-traveler for the days to come, so my heart and my mind are going to come out on this page. Just so we're clear on the objectives.

But on to Japan. I'm psyched. I've got all the major preparations done—passport and visa, check; round-trip ticket, check—so all I have to do now is figure out a phone situation and what to do for money in the airport and how to find/pay for the shuttle to the university. And pack. All which will be handled later, accordingly. Studying would be a good plan too, but I've found I'm a lot better about making and organizing 500+ flashcards of kanji (the really complicated characters borrowed from the Chinese) than actually memorizing them, and since I got assigned a speaking partner I've been less motivated. My partner's name is Seiji and we've been emailing back and forth for the past week now. He writes in English and I write back in Japanese, and it seems that we're evenly matched, which makes me feel a whole lot better about the whole coming semester. But he is a 19-year-old boy, and I've heard that more Japanese guys than girls sign up for the speaking program because they're all looking to "meet someone" if you catch my drift...so look for updates on that, haha.

Unfortunately, this reminds me that there will be struggles, and I have to keep that in mind. My boyfriend, for example, is going back to school out of state in 6 days, so of course I expect to face challenges in our relationship over the next few months. I expect to face challenges in my faith in trying to find a Christian community in Japan, and I try not to think about getting sick in a foreign place, but these are all obstacles I've had to overcome in the past; not without help, but I guess it's still a comfort.

So I hope what I write here will not only be stimulating for you, but also healthy for me, as a de-stresser at the very least (and just because I'm an English major doesn't mean I won't make up words and occasionally use poor grammar). I intend to post one more time before I leave (probably the day before I leave or in the airport somewhere), but until then I'll be submitting to poetry contests, going to work, and trying to drag myself out of bed in the morning to go run.

See you on the flipside :)

To Start

I'll tell you what this blog is about. Basically, it's Psalm 139 realized in my life as I travel abroad. Yes, I'm going to Japan in 19 days, and most of my writing will probably occur in Japan and be about Japanese things. But Psalm 139 is going to get me through this semester at Kansai Gaidai University and all my future travels (and pretty much everywhere is considered "east" of the United States), so this blog is going to cover pretty much anything and everything as long as I'm still moving. And I intend to be moving for a very long time.

So for now, I'll leave you to ponder the text of Psalm 139, which I'm sure I will be quoting throughout the next few months, years, and maybe longer. Here it is (NIV) as copied from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139&version=NIV:

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.