Running on...?

Am I running on the Holy Spirit, or am I running on something else? Am I running on my last legs, or am I running on empty? Or am I simply running on--enduring? Whatever the case may be, I find that I'm having a lot of ups and downs lately. Maybe it's just that time of the month (I don't mind admitting it), but the fact of the matter is that life is changing. I am changing. And I probably will be for the rest of my life, in mind, body, spirit, soul, the whole shebang. Sometimes that's hard to stomach, but...well, we deal with it. I'm sure a lot of the time, our problem is just one of surrendering to God. Over and over, we get wrapped up in the world of "me" and forget that our anger and selfishness and everything else that eats us up inside is of our own making, not God's. At least I do. That's what I think.

This reminds me of what I probably said earlier in this blog (definitely in the Rwanda one) about expectations--you pretty much have to get rid of them when going to a new place, maybe even meeting new people and in other aspects of life. At least that's been my experience. And I forgot to mention in my last post that in the sermon I last heard, the pastor mentioned the opening line of Great Expectations (a book I've referenced before without having read it, and I probably never will because it's by Charles Dickens): "It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times." I can't remember now exactly how it was related to the Biblical message on Sunday, but I think that's probably a very true statement for a lot of things in life; a lot of people say the good comes with the bad (and vice versa), and what if our greatest, happiest, and most inspirational moments come in the thick of our worst times? If you've read my Rwanda blog, specifically the entry entitled "Bieber Mango Caring", maybe you'll agree that this "theory" is quite probable.

In any case, with my last day of work just hours ahead of me (yeah, it's not even a day, it's 5 hours...woohoo!), I'm feeling...good? Prepared? I don't know. I've been studying my kanji flashcards more diligently now that my dad is helping me, and I've got about 300 down pretty well. Two more boxes to go. I've packed 99% of my clothes, I believe, and I've made the packing list. I'm doing laundry today, getting a haircut tomorrow, learning how to cook on Saturday. Needless to say, we're down to the wire here. Three more days until I make my way to the airport. So if you are so inclined, please pray. Pray for whatever you think/feel I might need prayer for. I'm leaving it up to you, dear readers, to do as you see fit. Maybe you just want to wish me luck. Maybe you skimmed this, nodded, shook your head, made a thoughtful "hmm" sound in your head (or out loud), and that's your level of participation in this journey of mine. That's totally fine. I love it! And I hope that all of us can get something out of what I write here.

Until next time,
ケイトリン