Still Clenching

So in my daily Bible-reading, it just so happens that today was the day to read Psalm 139 (among other things), and the verses that stuck out to me were 9 and 10: "If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." I don't know if I had noticed these lines when I named the blog, but I can't believe I'd forgotten about them in any case. While they are comforting words, reading this this morning also reminded me that just because He's THERE doesn't mean we will acknowledge him and accept his help, or the help of others for that matter (through him, perhaps). So maybe that's why, even though it took me like 50% longer than it should have, I successfully made the trek from Gotenyama station to Kansai Gaidai in time for the opening ceremony, and not totally drenched in sweat or rainwater (it's been raining the last couple of days, and you never know if it's going to stop in five minutes or turn into a typhoon in half that time) or out of breath. I asked a very nice man how to get there and he walked with me until I got to a place I recognized. I even walked back with my speaking partner at the end of the day without any help (he doesn't live in the area)! Unfortunately, I rejected my instinct that we were supposed to dress in semi-formal attire for the ceremony and felt seriously under-dressed...and I'd be willing to bet that if I would just let go of my fear and uncertainty and actually surrender this adventure to God COMPLETELY, I would have remembered the memo. I still have to unclench the fist that's holding on to the safety net of the English language.

One thing I will say is that I feel like I've been very optimistic lately, at least in my conversations with other people. It's weird--I feel like I'm giving advice that I'm not taking. I feel like I've been trying to comfort people when I'm not comfortable myself! It's an interesting dynamic, and not one I'm certain I understand yet. Like, I don't know if this is a good or bad thing--do I need to comfort people in order to feel comfortable? At what point should I...well, I guess I just need to start believing that God is really there, that he will really provide, and there's no reason I shouldn't thrive here.

Anyway. You probably want some more details. Well, I met some new people (still not many Japanese, and my conversations with Seiji certainly have not improved yet), had an egg salad-onion-and-ham sandwich in a hotdog bun thing and another cold sausage-relish-ketchup-and-mustard one for breakfast, was somewhat unimpressed with my first class (Religion in Japan), finalized my alien registration/residence card, received my first phone call in Japanese and didn't know what to do, and discovered that the name of the town I live in now (Neyagawa) means something like "sleepy afternoon river".

I think that about covers it for the time being. Now to relieve my headache with either some sleep or the elusive glass of water....
TTFN!